Adults forget the lessons they were taught as children
Adults forget the lessons they were taught as children.
We teach our youth respect, tolerance, and empathy, all summed up into a single nicely packaged Golden Rule: treat others the way you would like to be treated. Yet, I turn to my computer screen for a split second, only to see personally aimed invective volleyed around in incendiary political debates with such a casual air that it’s hard to believe it’s been broadcasted on live national television.
It’s also unreasonable to posit that the politicians in Washington accurately reflect the opinion of the majority.
All too often we imagine that Washington doesn’t work because we as citizens are irremediably polarized, when the truth is almost certainly the exact opposite.
— Gideon Lewis-Kraus, How to Make Government Trustworthy Again
However, the irony is crystal clear when we find ourselves lecturing our representatives instead of looking to them as a guide for open-minded conversation. Perhaps we’re voting for the wrong people, or maybe we all truly believe that calling our opponent a s***hole is the solution to every disagreement. Either way, there is an unhealthy disparity among the voices heard upon the big stage of politics, and its dissonance will inevitably echo until it affects even the farthest corners of the nation if we continue to ignore it.
Going Back to the Beginning
Our current education system is structured such that the main principles of empathy, respect, and tolerance are rigorously embedded into the curriculum in elementary school. My school had the Golden Rule painted on the wall right in front of our playground, where every kid within a radius of 500 feet could see it in big bold letters. From first to fifth grade, our teacher would read aloud Inch and Miles: The Journey to Success, a book where two friends set out on a journey to discover the blocks that make up the Pyramid of Success. Each block was discussed, examined, and analyzed thoroughly in deep discussion to understand why these principles existed.
Then, in middle school, these lessons were thrown aside. Instead, we memorized what the powerhouse of the cell was, and the date George Washington was born on.
The change from elementary to middle school is often trivialized, but the shift in priority from emotional intelligence to rote memorization is not nearly as subtle. From there on out, a student’s fundamental principles begin to jumble out of order. Teachers begin to place more importance on what students know instead of how they act, and students reassemble their fundamental beliefs to reflect the sudden switch. By the time they hit high school, all the emotional intelligence built up in elementary school is long gone, replaced by the knowledge of how to sit at a desk for hours on end.
Our education system is crippled by a misunderstanding of what we value, and needs to be redefined such that our children’s education reflects our true priorities as a society.
Restructuring Education
High school kids obviously don’t learn the same way as elementary school kids do — we can’t simply read them Inch and Miles for 12 years straight. Instead, we should escalate the principles taught in elementary school into application, growing the curriculum to reflect the growth kids undertake from kindergarten to adulthood.
Create mandatory debate classes that discuss controversial topics with the aim of cultivating a respectful, tolerant discussion of differing opinions. Have students argue for the opposite viewpoint of what they actually believe in (have pro-choice argue for pro-life, and vice-versa). I have tried this exercise once, and it has had a lasting impact on the way I approached arguments since then.
Steer history class away from the binary thinking of “black and white”, and instead steer it toward the idea that different shades of gray often lie in between. Entertaining the idea that people can simply be divided between good and evil is a dangerous tightrope to walk on, and it encourages students to believe that their side is white and the other is black, when in actuality, both are truly varying shades of gray.
George Washington is one of several examples of past leaders who have been painted in white. He was one of the world’s most extraordinary generals and leaders of his time. Largely self-educated, he always rode alongside his troops in battle, and his victory at Yorktown in 1781 saved his country from utter defeat in the face of the British. After working as President for 8 years, he could’ve easily stayed as a permanent King — but he stepped down, and graciously handed his position down to John Adams.
Yet, Washington’s fake teeth came from the enslaved and the poor. He was given 10 slaves when his father died, and bought 8 more by the time he married Martha Custis, who had her own slaves. During the Revolutionary War, his position on slavery shifted, and while he supported abolition, he continued to maintain his slave-owning status. When one of Martha’s slaves fled, he spent years attempting to force her return. In the end, his will ordered his slaves to be freed — with the disclaimer that they remain with Martha for the rest of her life.
There are no saints and devils. Our youth must know how to judge others, not only in the context of their time, but also their experiences. We are who we are because our environment has shaped us to be just that — had we been born in another time, and another land, we could have just as easily become the exact opposite of who we are today.
Adults forget the lessons they were taught as children.
Therefore, we must continuously encourage our children to extend their empathy with liberality, lest tomorrow they too, forget the lessons they were taught today.
